Why My Emotional Support Zombie Should Be Allowed On This Flight

If the plane is overbooked, his limbs can be popped off so he fits in the overhead compartment.

I’ve stashed an access point in his chest, so he’s a wifi hotspot.

Airplane food has just enough raw, unidentifiable body parts to keep him happy.

He’s better than an air marshal at keeping the peace. No one will attempt to take over the plane or be overly obnoxious with a drooling, hungry zombie on board.

 He smells better than that guy who always takes off his shoes.

The constant moaning makes him a natural white noise machine. He drowns out the screaming kid, the drunk soccer mom and the guy who just discovered politics and wants to talk about it.

If someone reclines their seat into his lap, he will crack their head like a walnut and they will never do that to anyone else, ever again.

His thumbs have fallen off, so he’s unable to tweet about any unpleasant experiences like excessive runway time or the condition of the bathroom.

His greatest wish, besides slurping brains out of your skull, is to watch “The Emoji Movie” 427 times while in flight.

If I’m not distracted by feeding him brain kibble every 90 seconds, I will realize I’m flying 30,000 feet above the planet in a metal tube going 600 mph and I will scream like a banshee with a paper cut throughout the entire flight.

What ‘Chewbacca Mask Lady’ Can Teach Us About Humor

Screenshot from Candace Payne’s video

One lady, one Chewbacca talking mask from Kohl’s, and four minutes that lit up the Internet for days. By now, you’ve likely seen Candace Payne, aka the Chewbacca Mask Lady, in her joyful Facebook video. As of Sunday morning, it’s been watched more than 120 million times. Why has this simple video of a Texas mom’s fangirl glee captured the attention of the world? And what lessons can humorists take away from it?

  1. The premise is simple. Candace buys herself a birthday present, and is so excited over it, she tries it on in the car. Her reaction to wearing it and seeing herself as she streams it on her phone via Facebook is the true gold here. Coming up with a simple premise that avoids low-hanging fruit of most comedy is difficult, but not impossible. Being original always wins.
  2. She laughs at herself. There’s no mocking of anyone else in this video; it’s self-deprecating humor. Laughing at yourself is the best type of humor, because it’s honest and it doesn’t come at the expense of anyone else.
  3. There are no sides. This video appeals to everyone because it isn’t about politics, religion or personal beliefs. There are no sides to point and laugh at, unlike most humor you see on Facebook these days. It’s about ‘Star Wars,’ a legendary and beloved franchise that’s grown beyond geek culture into something globally recognized. Even if you don’t speak English, you can watch the bulk of this video and get the humor. Looking through the comments on this video, many people say they’re not “into Star Wars” but they still love it because of her infectious, pure joy.
  4. She’s doing this for herself. It wasn’t meant to entertain anyone, other than a few friends on Facebook. Making yourself laugh is the first step not only toward honest reactions but also a great way to spark spontaneity and take your humor to the next level.

Now go out there and find your own inner happy Chewbacca. Or click the link below if you’re the only person who hasn’t seen the video yet.